If I had to stop seeing my current man, I wouldn't go back on the website. I dearly hope he won't find out, though, as I don't want to lose him and the impact on the children would be terrible. I'm very careful not to leave any clues and always meet far from our home so I won't be spotted. When I come home afterwards, my husband is usually still at work, so he doesn't even know to ask where I've been. I have to be strict, to not let myself develop an emotional connection with him. The anticipation of meeting him is exciting but it's not like falling in love. And no morning breath because we've never fallen asleep together. It stays fresh because we always see the best side of each other – no boring discussions about the electricity bill or rows about whose turn it is to take the bins out.
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He also makes me feel attractive and desirable. It's not kind to compare but he can keep going for hours as opposed to the 10 minutes with my husband. The sex is fantastic – uninhibited and adventurous. We book into a posh hotel once a month for the afternoon and also meet for coffee or a night out. He is a successful businessman and very attractive. Then a year ago I met someone whom I decided to see regularly, and I stopped using the website. One time a man wanted me to do things that weren't my cup of tea, including bondage and threesomes, so I didn't meet him again. In bed, my dates sometimes suffered from performance anxiety, due to guilt and nerves, probably. If I saw a wedding ring, I didn't let it put me off.
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But I carried on and learned to disconnect from the emotional side. If I had known 10 years ago that I would be doing this, I would have been disapproving. I do know what it's like to be cheated on – it happened to me during a previous relationship and it's not nice. The first couple of times I had sex, I felt a bit guilty. Alternatively, one man I found very attractive couldn't meet when I could – I think his wife was suspicious, so we couldn't take things further.Īfter the coffee date, if there was a spark we would meet for lunch and after a few dates book into a hotel for the afternoon. Once I took one look at the man through the cafe window and didn't go in.
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You don't waste time that way – you can tell instantly if there's any chemistry and you can quickly make your excuses if there isn't. I met half a dozen men over the next few months and slept with three of them.
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It's telling that to join the website it is free for women but men have to pay. I could tell that some men were creeping out of the marital bed in the night, judging by the time the emails were sent. Some men were not slow in coming forward when I requested a photo, more than one sent me a picture of their genitalia, which was just laughable. I added my details, just to test the water, and soon got lots of responses. I wouldn't consider having an affair with someone at work – too messy when it goes wrong – but some male attention and uncomplicated sex seemed an attractive option. I'm in my 30s and feel my life isn't over yet, so when two years ago I saw an advert in a newspaper for a dating website for married people, I was intrigued.
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Mine still live with me but they're teenagers who have their own lives, so I have plenty of free time. We both have children from previous relationships but none together. There was only so much I could do and I didn't want to leave him.